


I Am Dís

by PeneighDzredfohl



Series: Starlight and Firemoon [6]
Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Characters have sick sense of humor, Domestic Fluff, Family Drama, Fluff and Humor, I Ship It, I caved to my characters/ and I love it, Multi, No Smut, Polyandry, Rough Draft, Set in AU of Starlight and Firemoon, So there will be time line errors as well as spelling and grammar, Was tempted by characters with shiny plot bunnies, i will be polishing it up as I get closer to book 7 or 8, nobody messes with Dís
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:00:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21826318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeneighDzredfohl/pseuds/PeneighDzredfohl
Summary: Dís must stop the wrangling of her two husbands before they kill each other...nobody messes with Dís
Relationships: Dis/Dwalin/Vili, Kiliel/Thane/Dalan, Tauriel/Kili/Fili/Thorin/Frerin
Series: Starlight and Firemoon [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1188086
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	I Am Dís

**Author's Note:**

> OK, so follow me here. This was poured into my brain and i loved it and They told me what to write and I love it!  
> Now, this all takes place in about book 7 or 8 of my Starlight and Firemoon series. So about a hundred or so years in the future of Arda and Middle Earth. It is after the Prophecy, Mahal and Sulladad all command Vili, Frerin, Fundin, and Fundin's Wife, Brisa (Bree-Sah) to come back to Middle Earth from the Halls of the Ancestors to fulfill their destinies with the Prophecy; that were cut short due to the battle of Azanulbizar.  
> They never should have died, basically.  
> Vili kind of flips out that Dis has Dwalin as a husband and that Dis wants a triade marriage.  
> Frerin flips because he is still mentally just hitting puberty, but physically is 100 and immortal (they are all immortal). Tauriel flips when she realizes that Frerin is the 4th husband that she has felt has been missing and she knows he will complete her.
> 
> This post is just a rough draft and incomplete but I wanted to get some ideas I have in my WIP folder for this series out there to let y'all know what's up.

It had finally happened; as Dís knew it would.

You just could not have two bull-headed (sweethearts), jealous (wonderful, amazing, loving, protective), hot heads (oh so good in bed) Dwarves who were her Ones (Mahal be praised for such a gift to have them both) in the same hall and be with her and not expect some kind of pecking order to be established.

Eventually the three of them would become a triad as Fíli, Kíli, and Tauriel had. They just had to get over this teensy little bump first.

She had to figure some way to pound it into their stone headed skulls that she loved both of them equally. Her whole heart loved Víli in ways that she could never love Dwalin. That being said, she loved Dwalin with every fiber of her being for the things he brought to their marriage that Víli would never be able to. They balanced each other, and they both, within that balance, were able fulfil Dís’ heart in a way she never knew was possible or that she even knew was something missing in her heart.

While Víli had brought her a gentle, tender, loving, comfort, that she had missed from not having a father, who could give her that love she needed.

He was so gentle and peaceful, he had a tenderness to him that was soothing, comforting and made her feel safe and protected. He doted on her to the point of spoiling her.

Víli calmed her volcanic Durin temper by diffusing it with near magical qualities. He helped her see things in ways she couldn’t.

He helped her to bond with Kíli when she was having trouble after his birth. Holding their little family together. He was and would ever be her first love.

~~*~~

Her Dwalin. He was the fire in her life. He loved her feistiness and encourage her to let off a little steam, even with him if he deserved it. He loved the fiery spirit she had, that all she had endured had not broken her. He was so proud to be her husband. He acted like he had found the Arkenstone when she accepted his proposal. To have loved her for as long as he could remember (being 12 years her junior), to have waited till he came of age to court her; only to have Víli be there first. He had not held that against Víli nor Dís. Instead he became the family’s protector and Thorin’s best friend. He admired the fact that she was so progressive and such a spitfire as to shove it down the council’s throats in such a way they all thought they had come up with the idea!

He fulfilled her need to not be stuck in a role she was not suited for; he was ferocious in bed and yet could be as tender and romantic as any suave dwarf could be. He surprised her, she never knew what was going to come out of his mouth, what he was going to do to celebrate life with her.

Dwalin brought his own feistiness and passion that was the physically, emotionally, and mentally powerful alpha male to match her alpha female (she was a Durin after all).

Both dwarves were superb fathers. It warmed her heart how Víli had been so tender with Fíli and Kíli as babes, and Fíli as a young dwarfling. Víli loved to teach Fíli and he had a wonderful knack for keeping Fíli’s attention.

Dwalin could be rough and tumble with the children or as docile and loving as a kitten.

~~*~~

But, back to the battle at hand. This had to be nipped in the bud. The children were confused by the dwarves’ animosity towards each other. Her littles knew Tauriel’s children all came from different sires but were loved equally by each father. Those Pappas never were mean to each other. 

Today the two dwarves had pushed her beyond what she would tolerate, as she had hoped they would sort it out peacefully together. She was their wife and as such she was head of hearth and home. These two dimwits were disrupting the harmony she was trying to bring to the home and family.

She watched as Víli and Dwalin stood toe to toe yelling at the top of their lungs. If she did not intervene now, they would come to blows.

“I have loved Dís since I was three! Devoted my whole life teh her and the Durin family! Even more so when yeh wed her and I ken I had lost her! I’ve protected her, cherished her, been blessed many times over with the children she has given me! I’ll not have yeh, trying the be top dog Víli! I’ll never make her choose. Yeh seem teh want to give her an ultimatum on the two of us with her. How is THAT love?!”

“I courted her despite Thorin’s misgivings about me, I proved I would be a worthy husband to her, and I married her, I have two fine dwarves grown by her! I felt the pull and was drawn to her, she is MY One! You cannot be her One as well!”

“Yeh were only with her for 11 years. I’ve been wed_____ years teh her and have sired_____ dwarflings by her. Yeh kennae know that kinda love and devotion! Yeh, kennae even begin teh grasp how much she is my entire world, and for that matter, I too felt the draw teh her, only for me it started when I was three! She is my One!”

“You seriously think because I _only spent 11 years with her and only sired 2 dwarfling by her, that I would not feel the same as you? How long you spend with a person is irrelevant when they are your One! SHE is NOT your One!”_

That seemed to touch Dwalin, and in a much softer gentler voice he responded, “Víli, yeh are correct, time has no meaning when she is your One…Dís will confirm teh yeh, she is my One and I am hers. Fíli, Kíli and Thorin, well and Frerin now too, I s’pose, are Tauriel’s Ones. Four of ‘em Víli. So why can’t Dís have two? I’ll never leave her nor give her up. Either yeh come teh yer senses about this, or I’ll hafta kill ya, and that would make her mad at me. I don’t want teh do this, so think really hard with what yer about teh say, ya ken!”

_“_ **SHE IS NOT YOUR BLOODY FECKING ONE!! SHE IS MINE! I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU DO NOT LEAVE AND TAKE YOUR SPAWN WITH YOU!”**

That was all it took for Dís to have had enough of these daily round-about verbal sparring matches (all day long, and into the night) She was as mad as a wet hen that the two would not see reason, and she was boiling mad at Víli for what he had just said about her children. By Mahal, if Tauriel could make this work then she could to. It would just take a little bit more of her special touch to make them see reason.

She would not, nor could not, live without both of them. She now understood Tauriel’s explanation, of how she could have three (well, yes, four, her other big brother) Ones and love them each with her whole heart as fiercely as she did. Each one brought something into her life that she could not bring herself.

But these two bull-headed lunks had gone too far with their threats, they were becoming less and less threats and more and more a dynamic explosion with both of them wanting to kill the other.

Of course, the dwelves could always………hmmm, that gave her the perfect idea on how to end this once and for all!

She went swiftly to the kitchen grabbed what she needed and then snuck up behind them.

“Oi!” she bellowed.

Both dwarves startled as they look at her.

They never saw it coming! She moved so fast as she connected the two cast iron frying pans onto the sides of their heads, smashing both their heads together with a very satisfied crunch and clang that came from it.

It really didn’t hurt that much, OK, their ears were ringing a tad bit, but both dwarves could see she was under a full head of steam, and both knew she’d brook no more of their nonsense.

They also had identical looks of trepidation on their faces as they both know their wife so well.

They were in deep trouble, and she was going to make them pay dearly, and in some devious way, as only Dís Durin could.

Dís grabbed an ear each and dragged them both, whimpering from the pain (she was using her nails of course), ordering them to follow her (as if they had a choice). This little Dwarrow Dam could kill them both with just a word or a look.

As she lead them both, in abject humiliation, before all the other dwarves and dwarrows to see, she wondered how long it would take for them to realize just where they were headed.

It was Dwalin of course who figured out where they were going. Víli had never lived in Erebor so he was still clueless.

“DÍS! No, _Mudùmel_ _ê_ (My Darling), you can’t be serious. What are you going to do with us in the arena?”

Víli panicked as he had a very good idea of just how serious Dís was, as well as how clever she could be to bring a dwarf grown to his knees before her.

“Now Dís,” he cajoled, “I’m not a warrior, and I can’t hurt my hands.”

Dwalin mimicked Víli in a whiny voice, “‘Oooh, I can’t hurt my hands.’ Yeh pansy arse!”

“Oh, shut up Dwalin, how masculine will you look trying to hit me with a frying pan.”

“Frying pan?!”

It was just then he noticed she had two very large, and very heavy looking frying pans, belted to her waist.

“Shite Dís, yeh kennae no ah do that teh me! I’ll be the laughingstock! I’m Thorin’s head of the Military for Mahal’s sake!”

“I can, I will, and I am; now in! Both of you two doofs!”

She opened the doors and shoved them in after handing each a frying pan that still had bits of breakfast in them. Both dwarves stood there feeling immensely stupid, and beyond humiliated as others in the arena turn to stare at the spectacle.

They all turned to the doors as a little dwelf maid came flying into the arena and into Dís’ arms.

“I came as quick as I could Grandmother,” She puffed breathlessly, “What’s wrong?”

Winking at the maid, she said in a rather detached voice, “Well, Little Raven, I have a special job for you; I need you to be able to resurrect whomever kills the other, or, if they both kill each other, to resurrect them both sweetie.”

Both dwarves looked at Dís in sheer terror.

“Now Dís…”

“NO, Víli! No more ‘Dís-ing’ me. I love both of you equally but for different reasons. My heart is not half to one and half to the other. It simply got larger, now that I have the two dwarves, I love more than any others on Arda back in my life forever. I will not have you two butting heads and having pissing contests every time my back is turned. So, have it out, here and now.”

Little dwelf (Merriel?) said in a very believable voice, “You can’t let them kill each other! It would hurt me too much to bring them back Grandmother I have Sissy and Kee’s memories and Gaeliel and Gaelan and Ry and Riel and when they saved Pappa it hurt them so much in their hearts and when Thrain and Vivee and Kaedan and Kaedanna had to save Pappa Fíli it hurt Kaedan so much he wanted to be borneded right away and had to wait so long to make sure Pappa Fíli was really ok I don’t want to hurt like that.”

“Yup,” Dwalin chuckled, “she’s Tauriel’s daughter all right.”

Dwalin quickly took her from Dís and explained carefully, “We would never actually kill each other sweetheart, we just need to… work things out the way males do.”

“Nooo, you need to kiss and make up and say you are sorry and sorry means you will never do it again and then when you go home and are all married to Grandmother you all can make more babies so I will have more kids to love so you two have to kiss.”

With disgusted faces; as if they’d rather kiss an orc. Both dwarves look at each, then in unison shouted, “NEVER!”

“No, no, no!!! You must love each other to kiss and make up and it be real! You have to say, ‘I love you’ to each other.”

(Merriel) nudged them both a bit with her mind. Dwalin gave her a side eye making her blush at being caught.

“Dwalin!” Víli exclaimed in a high-pitched voice that was verging on panic, “Why do I no longer hate you and feel like I love you?!” 

“This little sprite used her magic. Same as Kíliel did for me and Dís. Just go with it Víli or she’ll only ramp it up.”

(Merriel) grinned hugely. Dwalin grinned right back at her.

The two dwarves finally capitulated and hugged with her in the middle.

“Now say, ‘I love you and I’m sorry,’ and kiss. Then you two need to go home with Grandmother and make me more kids to play with.”

They both mumble it to each with some sincerity, then kissed her cheeks so that it was at least enough to make (Merriel) happy she had done her job.

She zipped down from their arms, giving hugs and kisses to everyone, then ran back home.

“This is too much for me teh think about sober! Víli, it’s time teh get roaring drunk!”

~~*~~

After trying to drink each other under the table, they staggered home late into the night, but forgot the way to Dís’ hall and ended up at Kíliel’s door instead.

Víli banged on the door with more strength than he knew he had.

“Dís?! Dís, please let us in!”

By the time Kíliel had opened the door, Víli was sleeping against it and nearly knocked Kíliel to floor.

“Oh, blazing stars, U’adad, Grandfather? Why are you….Whew! You two are so sozzled!”

“Hi Dwelfling, where’s yer grandmother? Wait, what are yeh doing in our hall this late?”

“Uhm, actually, you two are in my hall this late. Why _are_ you in my hall this late, _and_ both drunk as skunks?”

“I guess we got lost. I think. Kennae yeh tell me…”

“…Us…,” Víli said, while he gave Dwalin the stink eye.

“…Yeah, **_us_** … how teh get teh our hall?”

Dwalin slurs a bit when he boasts, “Ahh woulda ha’ drunk ‘im (as he tipped his head towards Víli, Kíliel quickly grabbed him to help him as well to help him stay vertical) unner the table… but Dís ordered me home… cause she said she was horny.”

“Wait, how do you know that Dwalin?”

“She bespoke me, pebbles for brains.”

“Shut up, you old goat fart!”

Kíliel was trying so hard not to laugh at her two stoic grandfathers being blithering idiots.

“Uhm, I can help, but let me get Thane in case one of you goes down. Dalan is on duty tonight outside the mountain.”

Kíliel bespoke Thane. “ _Atamanel **ê,**_ \- (My breath of all breaths-You are the very air I breathe)

_I could really use your help…like, right now! Both my grandfathers are roaring drunk and think our hall is their hall. We need to help them get back to Grandmother.”_

“So, you didn’t hear Grandmother U’adad?”

“Not a bloody peep. I think Dwalin’s so drunk I win… cause he’s hearing things.”

Kíliel catches Dwalin’s eye and winks at him.

_“How’s this U’adad, can you hear me better now?”_

_“Mahal’s balls, are you doing that Kíliel? Where’s the sound coming from?”_

_“From yer head ya dunce.”_

_“My head?”_

_“Yeh, that place on yer neck where yer gray matter is supposs-ed to be?”_

_“Kíliel why isn’t your mouth moving? Am I talking to you in my head and you are talking to me in yours?”_

_“I am U’adad.”_

_“How very odd!”_

_“Yeh are odd Víli.”_

_“Takes one to know one.”_

Both dwarves cracked up with raucous laughter and started to fall.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! I got you Grandfather.” Kíliel said in a panic.

“Aaaand, I’ve got you U’adad!” Thane shouted.

The young couple balanced both dwarves as they tried to get a grandfather each to carry.

“You are _so_ heavy Grandfather. Let’s at least get started Thane, then I can call in the troops.”

“Ya, pure muscle it tis lass.”

“More like petrous if you ask me Dwalin.”

“I didnae ask yeh for the _kakfe_ dribbling outta yer mouth, thunder-butt!”

“Grandmother is so going to hit you two with a frying pan if you keep this up.”

In unison once again they shouted, “SHE ALREADY DID!”

“Well then, good for her.”

“Whose side are yeh on lass?”

“Hers of course, you two need to at least get along until you fall in love.”

“The mountain will cave that day!” Víli roared…then let out a mighty belch. “S’cuse me!”

“Did you really just say _THAT,_ U’adad? It’s kind of morose, I think. Anyway, if that’s how you feel you should be prepared to get smooshed…again. The Prophecy is not to be trifled with.

_PAPPAaaaaa THOooooOOORIiiiiiiiiiNnnnnnn!”_

_“What Kíliel?! Why are you shouting?”_

_“Sorry! Grandfather and U’adad almost fell on top of me, I think they would have squished me, dwelf or no dwelf!”_

**_“What…_ ** _**is,** going on?”_

_“Read my mind Pappa Thorin.” Kíliel gasps as she struggles under Víli’s weight and lack of sobriety._

After seeing what happened from her end, then getting the visual’s from Dís’ end. Thorin is roaring in the two dwarves’ minds.

_“You two, my brothers-in-law, are ninnies. She seriously had you both fighting… with frying pans? Dwalin you’ll never live that down.”_

_“Shut it yeh marble mouth! Yeh dennae think I ken that?”_

_“Wow is all I can really say. I’ve only had her that mad at me a couple dozen times, but it’s been over the span of 300 years (how many years have passed), not one week. You two are talented.”_

“Hi Dwelfling.”

“Finally, some help! Hi, Pappa Fíli, Pappa Thorin!”

Thorin scooped up a squalling, cussing Dwalin bridal style, while Fíli threw his now unconscious father over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

_“Mother, I think we got our smarts from you, Adad is being a doof_.”

_“Hence why I call the two knot heads home.” Dís answered primly._

_“YA TOLD ME YA WERE HORNY!”_ Dwalin yowled in complaint.

Thorin almost dropped Dwalin while he roared with laughter.

“I think I will just pour you into bed and let Dís sort the two of you out, you’ve both had quite the evening. Oh, and a bit of advice, you’d better kiss for real by morning or she may glue your lips together!

Here you go _namadith,_ two marinated husbands, delivered as ordered.”

“I may hide the hangover tea from you two!”

“Are you still horny though _Mudùmel_ ** _ê_** _?”_ Dwalin asked hopefully.

“Oh Dwalin,” she chuckled

**Author's Note:**

> As ever always, I NEED feedback! I have no BETA or proofreader so your thoughts and ideas can help me make this a great story.  
> There is no such thing as a silly comment and I enjoy polite ideas and thoughts. Kudos help too.


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